I write this on the eve of turning 50. What to say? These birthday celebrations are way different from what we had in mind last year or even at the beginning of this year. We were making plans to have family from USA and Kenya come visit during the summer and arrange a few get togethers with both sides of the families - both in terms of mine and my wife’s as well as both in terms of my dad’s and mum’s side. This is a lot of people. The celebrations would be for my son turning 16, completing GCSE exams and me turning 50. With the pandemic issue we can’t have more than 6 people meet.
I remember before I turned 24, I had just started my first real job and career out of university. I was a junior consultant in a US based technology consulting firm. I had been to Cambridge, Massachusetts for month long orientation training. During one weekend we had driven to New York, the Big Apple. I was then back in the UK working on projects, work then had become quieter in the UK. During September they shipped a few of out to projects in the USA. I ended up in Lansing, Michigan for a good few weeks. One weekend we took off to Lake Michigan - more like am ocean than a lake. I ended up spending my birthday weekend driving with a friend to Toronto, Canada where he had his family. I was away from family and friends. Being with my friend and his family was fine but I felt alone and did not enjoy that birthday experience. I enjoy being around people, especially family and friends and I enjoy celebration birthdays. Happy Birthday - I has HAPPY in the phrase and it has Birth - Life, so a Happiness Coach calling his company Happy Life Habits loves celebrating birthdays be they his own or others.
I was reminded by Facebook of a post from a few years ago which is a real treasure and I share here which share the difference between a contact and connection.
A Monk of the RamaKrishna Mission was being interviewed by a journalist from NY.
Journalist - "Sir, in your last lecture, you told us about Jogajog (contact) & Sanjog (connection). It's really confusing. Can you explain ? "
The Monk smiled and apparently deviating from the question asked the journalist:
"Are you from New York?"
Journalist - "Yeh..."
Monk - "Who are there at home?”
The Journalist felt that the Monk was trying to avoid answering his question since this was a very personal and unwarranted question. Yet the journalist said: “Mother has expired. Father is there. Three brothers and one sister. All married..."
The Monk, with a smile on his face, asked again: “Do you talk to your father?"
The journalist looked visibly annoyed...
The Monk - “When did you talk to him last?"
The journalist, supressing his annoyance said: "May be a month ago."
The Monk: “Do you brothers and sisters meet often? When did you meet last as a family gathering?"
At this point, sweat appeared on the forehead of the journalist. Now who was conducting the interview, the Monk or the Journalist? It seemed that the Monk was interviewing the Journalist.
With a sigh, the Journalist said: “We met last at Christmas two years ago."
The Monk: “How many days did you all stay together ?"
The Journalist (wiping the sweat on his brow) said: “Three days..."
Monk: "How much time did you spend with your Father, sitting right beside him?"
The journalist looking perplexed and embarrassed and started scribbling something on a paper...
The Monk: "Did you have breakfast, lunch or dinner together? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother's death?"
Drops of tears coming out started to flow from the eyes of the journalist.
The Monk held the hand of the journalist and said: “Don't be embarrassed, upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly... But this is basically the answer to your question about "contact and connection (Jogajog and Sanjog)". You have 'contact' with your father but you don't have 'connection' with him. You are not connected to him. Connection is between heart and heart... sitting together, sharing meals and caring for each other ; touching, shaking hands, having eye contact, spending some time together...You brothers and sisters have 'contact' but you have no 'connection' with each other...."
The journalist wiped his eyes and said: "Thanks for teaching me a fine and unforgettable lesson"
This is the reality today. Whether at home or in the society everybody has lots of contacts but there is no connection. No communication... Everybody is in his or her own world.
Let us not maintain just "contacts" but let us remain "connected"; caring, sharing and spending time with all our dear ones.
*****
The Monk was none other than Swami Vivekananda
Lessons Learned at 50
There are many people who have come into my life, there are many mistakes made, lessons learned, many inspirers, many joyous moments and continue to do so. Some of these lessons relate to a few themes.
TIME is our most precious resource. We don’t know how much we have left so use it wisely.
CONNECTION is central to our existence. The much loved and shared Brene Brown quote says it all. Check out this awesome blog on connection.
We have 3 main relationships or connections:
with our self
with others
with our higher self, nature, universe, God
The Happy Life Habits logo is all about connection, it is a connected pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
The below quote was share on HLH Community group when within a few days we developed the HLH Book Club. Thanks Mary T for inspiring it.
“‘Time is our most precious resource. We should not waste it. If it fits with my mission, serves, feels right, positively impacts, makes me smile, adds to the greater good, enthuses and inspires me and have the opportunity to be with wonderful like minded people - why wait? ”
Manage your TIME, ENERGY & ATTENTION
I am hoping to share sessions on this in 2021
HABITS OF THE HEART & SOUL : GRATITUDE, COMPASSION, KINDNESS, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, MINDFULNESS
return wonderful returns when developed - they are all about connection.
“Our life is made up of a series of moments. We live moment to moment. The more happy moments we can have and create the happier our life will be. ”
All the current Happy Life Habit projects and activities relate to these themes : The Happiness Boosters, The Gratitude Workshop, The Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Course, The HLH Book Club and the newly launched Inspiration Point. I look forward to connecting with you and being part of the Happy Life Habits Community with you.
Many thanks to all the attendees, participants, partners, supporters and sponsors.
With Love, Warmth, Gratitude and Kindness
Shaileen Shah - The Happiness Coach - 50 Years Old - still got a long way to go.
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Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.